Saturday, July 30, 2011
These Old Dogs
If I'm not too lazy or busy packing, I'll post more about Korea soon. To sum things up though, Korea is awesome and you should go there.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Allow Me to Introduce Pepsiman
ALL PARTS MADE OF SMELLING MATERIAL. |
He is very confident of his physical ability. |
This thing has so many priceless features! Not only does he supposedly smell like Pepsi, he comes with a snowboard, crutch, and leg cast. So he can catch some rad air and then snap his leg and hobble around on a cast. Plus, mine is some kind of special edition where his body seems to be liquefying into Pepsi.
Especially, he is so into sideways-riding-sports . . . |
Thursday, July 14, 2011
The End is Near
Written in English on the back is, "we could have a good time with you!! Thank you!!" |
I was really touched, and after the ruckus I caused thanking the girl over and over just outside the office, all my coworkers wanted to see what I got. They were so jelly.
In one of my classes today, when I explained that I would be returning to America soon, one of my boys started to cry. He turned red with embarrassment, and he was literally crying tears. These aren't even little kids; they're teenagers. I wasn't really sure what to do, so I gave him some doodads from my prize basket to remember me by.
Until today, I hadn't realized how much my students really appreciate me. It's going to be seriously sad saying goodbye next Friday.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Chicken in Bizarro World
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Too Cool for School
I just helped three other teachers carry a dusty mold-filled refrigerator down four floors of outdoor stairs and across a parking lot to the school's own personal garbage dump in 90-degree heat. Totally worth it though, because now we finally have a functional fridge in the English office again after months of drinking warm Coke Zero with lunch.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
My Personal Cheer Squad
It started a few months ago when I was really into Pokémon White Version. I played it every chance I had, which of course included standing on the train platform in a huge crowd while I waited for my morning train. A small group of elementary school boys--decked out in their goofy little sun hats with elastic chinstraps, dress slacks shorts, and their $300+ backpacks--eventually noticed that the foreign gentleman was playing Pokémon.
The kids were pretty shy at first. They'd pretend not to be watching me, and just sneak peeks at the screens when they thought I was too into the game to notice. They weren't subtle though. They'd elbow each other and bicker, trying to get the best view. And although I don't understand that much Japanese, I can easily pick out Pokémon names, even Japanese ones.
One morning, when I was really into the book I was reading, I decided to read on the platform and train instead of playing DS. The kids gathered around as usual, but they were disappointed. One boy worked up the guts to approach me and ask, in Japanese, where my DS was. Another boy knocked him pretty hard on the head for being so forward. I hadn't realized, until that point, that they actually looked forward to watching me play. So, I put my book away and got out my DS; this small action was met with much fanfare.
Now my little schoolboy cheer squad pushes through the crowds every morning to watch me play. They shout out their advice, cringe and curse when I mess up, and gawk at all the English text in my North American localized games. Part of my job as a JET Programme ALT is to promote cultural exchange and break down the barriers that exist here between the Japanese and the outside world. So, part of my job, as I see it, is to play my Nintendo DS every morning to the great delight and amusement of a growing group of little boys.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Lice Check
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The Midnight Creeper
The ¥1 coin is about the size of a penny. |
Yucko, right? |
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Avert Your Eyes
Last week, Morgan went to the eye doctor with the help of our neighbor Diane, and I tagged along. Right as we walked in the door, a magazine rack with the latest volume of Weekly Jump caught my eye, so I took that and amused myself with it in the waiting area. Now, most doctors that I've been to back home have something like daytime talk shows or news playing on the TVs in the waiting room. Well, this place had eye surgery on a couple big screen flat panels. Seriously, like close up high resolution imagery of eyeballs being punctured, sliced, etc. Yikes!
Monday, May 23, 2011
The Mega Mac
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Watching the News
Monday, April 18, 2011
Japanese Easter FML
I already had everything set up for an Easter party. Morgan even made Rice Krispies Treats with Cupcake Pebbles.
Nobody told me about the testing. It's probably common knowledge, but I guess people forget I'm foreign and don't know the language.
Oh well, now I'll just eat the Cupcake Pebbles Treats myself!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Cartoon Condoms
For those of you unfamiliar with Kenshiro, he basically kung fu pokes people in special ways that cause their heads and other limbs to swell up and explode into bloody messes, usually flinging eyeballs and organs every which way. Morgan immediately made the connection, and suggested that Kenshiro, badass though he is, may not be the best spokesman for condoms.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Blood Donation - Charity for Cheap
Remove the dental calculus. I didn't even take calculus! How'd that get in there? |
We know what you did, male donors. |
Front - Hello Kitty is cosplaying Kenketsu-chan. |
Back - A Kenketsu-chan for every prefecture! Ours is an okonomiyaki chef! |
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Japanese Fashion Faux Pas
He tried to approach it gently by starting with the obligatory, "Ah, good morning Sensei." Then came, "So... you're wearing a black tie today. You see, I am wearing white," and he proudly takes hold of his flashy matte/shiny white striped tie at the knot. "In Japan... black is for funeral. White is wedding or the ceremony." At this point, I'm feeling even more like an uncultured goober than I usually do. "But! It's okay!," he says. "I have the yellow and blue. You can wear! Which is best for you?" So, I accept his blue tie gratefully and pull my black tie off with extreme prejudice like a teenager hastily shedding a burger flipper uniform before meeting up with friends.
Looking at my reflection in the glass front of a cabinet as I tie a half-Windsor, I'm reminded that I only even learned to tie a necktie by myself last year. My wife taught me. Had something like this happened before that, I would've been in quite a pickle. I probably would've sneaked off to the bathroom to hide, unable to put on the borrowed tie or even retie the funeral one. That's one of those man things they don't teach you anywhere, like buttoning only the top button of a suit coat and unbuttoning it when sitting down. I think I read that somewhere, but only after wearing mine buttoned all the way for a time. There should seriously be a Modern Bastard's Handbook or something.
I'd better get going so I'm not late to the ceremony. Blue tie, top button only. Got it.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Tomodatchi
While this may not be a very good drawing, the feelings behind it are powerful. It's Captain America assisting a member of the Japan Self-Defense Forces during the earthquake. This picture was drawn to express feelings of gratitude for American assistance with the relief effort. The artist titled it "Tomodatchi," which means friends.
Aftershocks
We checked on the time, and it looks like we must've been stuffing ourselves with pizza at Shakey's in Osaka when the big quake occurred. We didn't feel it, and I don't remember anyone else around appearing to notice anything either. We left Shakey's filled to the brim with wacky Japanese pizza, and went about shopping for the rest of the day completely oblivious. By the time we hauled our shopping bags back to the hotel that evening, we were pooped, but in high spirits.
The first thing I did once I dropped all my bags and began munching on a Mister Donut, was check Facebook. Not expecting to see much in the way of notifications, my main aim was to post some cocky status designed to insight jealousy--or as we'd been saying, "make everybody eat their shit" over us all being together in Japan having a blast. I was wrong about the lack of notifications. I had more than I'd ever seen before, and likely more than I'll ever see at once again. I had friends requests from relatives I hadn't heard from since childhood. I had been tagged in a handful of statuses, I had a sum of messages higher than the amount I typically receive in a month, and nearly everything had been bumped off my wall by brand new posts. All of this correspondence had a common theme: they were all inquiries about my safety and whereabouts--some of which were not even addressed directly to me, but to anyone who may have known what had become of me. This was the first my companions and I had heard about the disaster(s).
I think what hit me the hardest was that my mom thought that I was quite possibly trapped under rubble, washed out to sea, smashed by debris, drowned--dead or dying somewhere on the other side of the earth. I can't imagine what that would feel like, especially for a mother who has already lost one child in the past. So, while still packing in doughnuts, and with the news now rolling in Japanese on the TV, I began the work of responding to each and every request, tag, message, and post. After me, it was Morgan's turn to check, and sure enough, her family was going through the same thing. Then, Brannon. His, the same. Down the hall, Alex and Kristina were at work on the same thing--using Facebook and Skype to notify the world that they were still alive and well.
We could have gone to Tokyo instead. We'd talked about it. Instead, we were really fortunate to be in Osaka, far away and safe from the tragedy in the northeast. Earthquake withstanding, we went on with our plans for the rest of our trip. For the most part, West Japan seemed unaffected. The only difference was the sudden and extensive presence of people collecting money for the relief efforts. Once we let everyone know that we were alive, things mostly went back to normal for us. Of course, people who somehow missed our massive initial update continued to pop up, and so we continued to assure everyone, one-by-one via smaller social network aftershocks, that we were all safe.
The quake wasn't exactly done with us yet. We soon found out that Kristina and Alex's flight home was canceled. Alex's mom quickly set them up with another flight, which was no easy task as there was quite a scramble of canceled flights and frantic travelers. Brannon's flight, by some rare stroke of luck, was unaffected, so we parted with him on our last day in Osaka and he returned home as planned. Kristina and Alex came back to Fukuyama with us. I was really grateful for the few extra days with them, as selfish as that sounds, but don't misunderstand--I was then, and am now, sympathetic to all those killed, injured, and otherwise effected by the earthquake.
Alex and Kristina made it home safely on the rescheduled flight, and our relatively quiet little life in Fukuyama went back to normal. That is, until every news source began to extensively cover the disturbing situation at the Daiichi Power Plant northeast of Tokyo in Fukushima. Now, we face the threat of nuclear meltdown. I've been told repeatedly by my superiors and colleagues that I have nothing to worry about out here in Hiroshima, even in a worst case scenario. The Japanese media seems to back that up, although the scenes of fire fighters, police, and the Japanese Defense Force desperately dumping seawater from helicopters and spraying it from fire hoses at the dangerously hot reactors make me feel like they may be downplaying this situation.
The United States has warned citizens not to travel to Japan, and has asked citizens within a 50 mile radius of the plant to return to the United States, or at least evacuate that area by heading west. Because of the nuclear situation, Morgan and I are experiencing a second wave of aftershocks--friends and family online are now urging us to come home. It doesn't help that the American coverage all but suggests that Japan in its entirety is in ruins.
I can't say that I'm not a little scared of the radiation. It's hard to determine which news sources are accurate, and what's just media sensationalism. We're something like 400 miles away from the damaged nuclear power plant, and I've been told by people I trust that the distance will keep us safe, but apparently a radioactive smoke plume from an early explosion is already responsible for slightly elevated radiation levels on the American West Coast. Many people have suggested that our safety is to be determined by the weather--namely wind direction. There's been talk of radioactive rain.
At work on Friday, I was given a pamphlet detailing the effects of radiation on the body. I think it was supposed to make me feel better about staying in Japan by comparing the currently elevated levels of radiation in the northeast to relatively normal occurrences like getting an x-ray. This same pamphlet details the process of death by radiation poisoning, which involves hair loss, ulcers, and vomiting and defecating blood. A lot of JETs and other expats, even those like me who are far from the evacuation zone, are packing up and heading back to their home countries. There's no way I could just quit my job and leave when everything could just turn out to be fine. Not after everything I went through to get here. It's worth too much to me, and too important for our future. This is supposed to be the foundation of my career.
Morgan and I have talked about what it would take to cause us to flee. We're waiting until they tell us that our area our here in West Japan is experiencing elevated levels of radiation. If that does happen though, I expect most of the other foreigners to jump ship as well. I'm sure the airports will be jammed up in that case, so it's possible that we'd end up in a situation where it's just too late. I guess we'll see.
In the meantime, it's business as usual.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Until the Pebbles Grow into Boulders
We sing our national anthem back home in the States at graduation ceremonies as well as many other events, and for most of us it's no big deal. When I was in high school though, I was the type who wouldn't stand, sing, or cover my heart for the anthem. I did not pledge my allegiance to the flag, or to the republic for which it stands, because I took issue with the insertion of "under God," and the idea of being forced to pledge my allegiance left a fascist taste in my mouth.
Here in the land of the rising sun, the anthem presents a different set of problems. The lyrics glorify the Emperor and his continued reign, and in the opinion of many Japanese, the atrocities of WWII. This passage in particular stirs up a lot of controversy:
May your reignApparently, it's not unusual for some teachers here to protest the anthem by remaining seated during the song. To these teachers, the anthem represents the old Empire of Japan and its crimes rather than the modern State of Japan. I was asked personally to stand for the anthem. I'm pretty sure all JETs are asked to stand for the song. It's the law for teachers here to stand and respect the flag and anthem at school ceremonies. Doing otherwise will often cost them their jobs, and even potentially get them into legal trouble.
Continue for a thousand, eight thousand generations,
Until the pebbles
Grow into boulders
Lush with moss
If I were a Japanese citizen, I could easily see myself in the opposition camp here. I would make a stand by remaining seated. The thing is though, that I'm not Japanese. I'm a foreign guest. A cultural ambassador even. So tomorrow, when the anthem plays and the flag is flown, I'll stand. (And keep my job.)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Naked Man Festival
As with any good festival, there was food. Our first stop upon arriving was the grilled beef on a stick stand. Duh!
Then, of course, we watched the march of the naked men:
After they marched through holy water to purify themselves, they all crowded into a temple and beat the hell out of each other in a battle for a holy stick said to grant the holder good fortune for the coming year--part of that good fortune being a monetary prize.
I totally forgot to make a blog entry about our Hatsumōde at Saijo Inari back in January. I'm not doing so well at this blog thing. Sorry! Hatsumōde is the first temple visit of the new year. It's a Japanese New Year celebration, basically. Our good buddies Naoki and Rina took us along with them to Saijo Inari for the event. From what I was able to understand, Saijo Inari is like a temple that honors a fox god called Inari, which is a good explanation for all the nifty stone fox statues they had out there.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Pancake Flakes!
Monday, February 21, 2011
I Love Being a Teacher
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sometimes I Fit Right in Here. Sometimes.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
"ha-do rezubian!"
I tried to encourage them to decorate the fronts of their cards where their names are written, which a lot of them did. Anpanman, Tamagotchi, and Pokémon doodles are pretty common among all my classes. Many of my students try really hard to save up stars and earn prizes. Then, there's the kids who just wrote their names plainly in pencil on the front of their cards and have somehow managed to avoid earning a single star. When I can, I try to give those kids a little extra attention to see if I can win them over.
One student, who hadn't a single star, was spending most of his time in my class drawing on the backs of my worksheets. I told him that he was really talented, and that I'd like to see more of his work. Apparently, that won him over right away, and he started raising his hand every once in a while. When I got back to the English office after that class was over, I went through the name cards and discovered that he'd taken me up on my request to see more of his artwork. Check out these gems he drew on the back of his and a classmate's cards:
I can't really read this, but it looks like a hentai game. |
This one says "hard lesbians!" |
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Don't Breathe Kerosene
I spent my whole workday in a room with multiple rickety old kerosene heaters and no ventilation. Let me tell you: no matter what Japanese people say, those things just can't be safe. Just before leaving work, I was feeling like crap; my head was pounding, I was light-headed, and I felt like blowing chunks.
Now that I'm on the train, I'm feeling better. I'm going to have to just keep my coat on tomorrow and walk laps around the school every hour for fresh air.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Soap? Who needs it? Just gargle!
Turns out, the Japanese believe that gargling is just as important as hand washing for the prevention of illness. (Because that makes sense, right?) It's an Eastern medicine thing.
At least now I understand why my coworkers are constantly gargling loudly in the English office between classes. I thought they were all just really concerned with preventing stank-mouth.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Globalization
Friday, January 21, 2011
"I love Josef class."
Josef thank you very much.
I love Josef class.
I enjoy studying English.
It is happy to me for Josef class.
I am looking forward to study OC.
I miss Josef.
But I never forget to Josef class.
If I were go to U.S , I can see Josef.
it's wonderful.
I'm glad to have met you
take care of yourself.
goodby Josef