Thursday, April 7, 2011

Japanese Fashion Faux Pas

The entrance ceremony for incoming students is today, so when I picked out my black tie to wear with my suit this morning, I thought I was being especially formal. I thought I was getting some weird looks during the morning meeting, but I didn't make much of it; I get a lot of stares and double takes just for being white. As soon as I get to the English office, my coworker who sits at the desk across from me told me what I'd done.
He tried to approach it gently by starting with the obligatory, "Ah, good morning Sensei." Then came, "So... you're wearing a black tie today. You see, I am wearing white," and he proudly takes hold of his flashy matte/shiny white striped tie at the knot. "In Japan... black is for funeral. White is wedding or the ceremony." At this point, I'm feeling even more like an uncultured goober than I usually do. "But! It's okay!," he says. "I have the yellow and blue. You can wear! Which is best for you?" So, I accept his blue tie gratefully and pull my black tie off with extreme prejudice like a teenager hastily shedding a burger flipper uniform before meeting up with friends.
Looking at my reflection in the glass front of a cabinet as I tie a half-Windsor, I'm reminded that I only even learned to tie a necktie by myself last year. My wife taught me. Had something like this happened before that, I would've been in quite a pickle. I probably would've sneaked off to the bathroom to hide, unable to put on the borrowed tie or even retie the funeral one. That's one of those man things they don't teach you anywhere, like buttoning only the top button of a suit coat and unbuttoning it when sitting down. I think I read that somewhere, but only after wearing mine buttoned all the way for a time. There should seriously be a Modern Bastard's Handbook or something.
I'd better get going so I'm not late to the ceremony. Blue tie, top button only. Got it.

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