Like zis? Like zis? Pain?

 

The haircut turned out okay, or at least I think so. Getting a haircut in Japan is a pretty wacky experience which includes a pretty intense shoulder massage. On the scale of wacky experiences, however, the haircut procedure here can't outweigh what happened to me before I went to the salon.

Before the haircut, I was standing out in front of Fukuyama Station, passing the time eating some apple candy and listening to a Stanford lecture about the historical Jesus (as opposed to, or in contrast to, the Biblical one) on my iPod. Some guy came up and tapped me on the shoulder, so I took my earbuds out. He asked me if I spoke Japanese, and I told him no, and that I was sorry. 

His English was pitiful, but he said something like,"I studied rerijon. My rerijon is noshing. Noshing? Ahh... noshing?"

So, I was like, "Okay..." I figured he was a missionary or something.

And this guy starts shrugging his shoulders over and over dramatically, asking me, "Pain? Pain? You have pain in sho-der?" I told him that my shoulders were fine, but he just kept saying, "Like zis? Like zis?" and thrusting his shoulders up. 

He eventually convinced me to turn sideways, so I humored him for a moment while he put out his hands--one in front of my chest, and the other behind my back--and started grasping at the air in front and behind me while chanting something in Japanese. This guy was casting a spell on me. 

I was standing there, in front of the busy train station, watching people walk by while this guy was casting a fucking magic spell or something. I wondered how long he'd keep it up, so eventually I asked him what he was doing. At that point, he just smiled and asked if I had pain. I told him that I wasn't in pain, just like I told him that I wasn't in any kind of pain before he even got started with his mumbo jumbo. 

He just laughed a little, and said "Sank you. Sank you!" Then, he walked over to somebody else and presumably inquired about the condition of their shoulders. At that point, I decided to finish the rest of my candy someplace else.

Tomorrow, I Get My First Japanese Haircut

I've been here in Japan since August, and my hair is getting pretty dopey lookin'. My predecessor told me where I could find an English speaking stylist, so I booked an appointment with him for tomorrow after work. Wish me luck; I'm terrified.

Doraemon Santas

These are at our neighbor's house. Awesome.

Socks to be You

This morning, I saw a school girl on the train glue her tall socks to her legs with a glue stick to keep them up. I wonder if that's common practice. They do seem concerned with keeping their socks pulled up as high as they'll go; they stop constantly and abruptly to stand on one foot and tug on them. Maybe it's a winter thing. It's balls cold and they're not allowed to wear pants.

Japanese Kids Say the Darnedest Things (in English)

My students say some pretty funny stuff sometimes. The combination of the language gap and some potentially awkward cultural differences make for some great quotes. I'm totally not making fun of my students. Really.

At my slightly rough visit school, a girl came running up to me and shouted, "I want you, I need you! I love you!" a few times before her friends covered her mouth and dragged her away. At my regular school, I've had a few I love yous, but I honestly think those kids are just trying to tell me that they like me as a teacher, but they're just using the wrong words. That's what I'm going to keep telling myself. Then again, I did have a girl stay after class once and propose to me. She just kept saying "marry marry marry," and I was like, "Yeah, I'm married." She gave me a sharp look and told me "No!" After she had a few words with the Japanese teacher of English, the JTE told me apologetically that the girl wanted to marry me.

Another one of my favorite quotes came from a sleeping boy at my visit school. I was doing a lesson in which each student was supposed to give a simple introduction. When I got to this kid, who was sound asleep, I woke him up and asked him to tell me his name and one thing he likes. He told me his name, then laid his head down on his desk again. I didn't wanna let him off so easy, so I got him back up and told him to just tell me one thing that he likes. This kid says, "I... liku... sexu..." and goes back to sleep. Everyone laughed, even the JTE.

My students produce some comedy gold in their writings as well. Here's somebody's response to an essay prompt about traffic jams:

"I think that the vahicle exhaust emission is a problem than the traffic jam. It is helpless in us. Lets' wait for the plan of the government."

 My students' English, even though it might be a little broken (sometimes in humorous ways) is a hell of a lot better than my pitiful Japanese. I'm sure people get a good guffaw when I make an effort to use Japanese; I've heard 'em.