Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Japanese Kids Say the Darnedest Things (in English)

My students say some pretty funny stuff sometimes. The combination of the language gap and some potentially awkward cultural differences make for some great quotes. I'm totally not making fun of my students. Really.

At my slightly rough visit school, a girl came running up to me and shouted, "I want you, I need you! I love you!" a few times before her friends covered her mouth and dragged her away. At my regular school, I've had a few I love yous, but I honestly think those kids are just trying to tell me that they like me as a teacher, but they're just using the wrong words. That's what I'm going to keep telling myself. Then again, I did have a girl stay after class once and propose to me. She just kept saying "marry marry marry," and I was like, "Yeah, I'm married." She gave me a sharp look and told me "No!" After she had a few words with the Japanese teacher of English, the JTE told me apologetically that the girl wanted to marry me.

Another one of my favorite quotes came from a sleeping boy at my visit school. I was doing a lesson in which each student was supposed to give a simple introduction. When I got to this kid, who was sound asleep, I woke him up and asked him to tell me his name and one thing he likes. He told me his name, then laid his head down on his desk again. I didn't wanna let him off so easy, so I got him back up and told him to just tell me one thing that he likes. This kid says, "I... liku... sexu..." and goes back to sleep. Everyone laughed, even the JTE.

My students produce some comedy gold in their writings as well. Here's somebody's response to an essay prompt about traffic jams:

"I think that the vahicle exhaust emission is a problem than the traffic jam. It is helpless in us. Lets' wait for the plan of the government."
 My students' English, even though it might be a little broken (sometimes in humorous ways) is a hell of a lot better than my pitiful Japanese. I'm sure people get a good guffaw when I make an effort to use Japanese; I've heard 'em.

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