Like zis? Like zis? Pain?

 

The haircut turned out okay, or at least I think so. Getting a haircut in Japan is a pretty wacky experience which includes a pretty intense shoulder massage. On the scale of wacky experiences, however, the haircut procedure here can't outweigh what happened to me before I went to the salon.

Before the haircut, I was standing out in front of Fukuyama Station, passing the time eating some apple candy and listening to a Stanford lecture about the historical Jesus (as opposed to, or in contrast to, the Biblical one) on my iPod. Some guy came up and tapped me on the shoulder, so I took my earbuds out. He asked me if I spoke Japanese, and I told him no, and that I was sorry. 

His English was pitiful, but he said something like,"I studied rerijon. My rerijon is noshing. Noshing? Ahh... noshing?"

So, I was like, "Okay..." I figured he was a missionary or something.

And this guy starts shrugging his shoulders over and over dramatically, asking me, "Pain? Pain? You have pain in sho-der?" I told him that my shoulders were fine, but he just kept saying, "Like zis? Like zis?" and thrusting his shoulders up. 

He eventually convinced me to turn sideways, so I humored him for a moment while he put out his hands--one in front of my chest, and the other behind my back--and started grasping at the air in front and behind me while chanting something in Japanese. This guy was casting a spell on me. 

I was standing there, in front of the busy train station, watching people walk by while this guy was casting a fucking magic spell or something. I wondered how long he'd keep it up, so eventually I asked him what he was doing. At that point, he just smiled and asked if I had pain. I told him that I wasn't in pain, just like I told him that I wasn't in any kind of pain before he even got started with his mumbo jumbo. 

He just laughed a little, and said "Sank you. Sank you!" Then, he walked over to somebody else and presumably inquired about the condition of their shoulders. At that point, I decided to finish the rest of my candy someplace else.